Swine flu. Run for my life!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
