do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
