Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This house was built for laser tag.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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