god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You've changed since you got that strap on
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
