im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have aggressive nipples.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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