Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
