dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
