just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
