come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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