Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
