If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
