so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
