hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
