I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
