I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think we might need a safe word for this...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
