That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
