he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
