So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
