i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
