Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
