I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
