the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
