It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize