North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just cropdusted the office
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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