I can tuck mytits in my pants
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
