K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
