all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
