Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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