I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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