Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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