Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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