Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
