WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
