Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
