speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
