Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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