My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
