So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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