so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
