Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You've changed since you got that strap on
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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