We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
