my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
