My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
