Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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