Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
