Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize