he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
