so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
