My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
