just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize