Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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