Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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