I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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