You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
