he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
