If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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