yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
