So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize