Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
