Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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