I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he laminated a picture of his dick.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
