i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
