Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
