I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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