Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
