Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
