Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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